toastdurr:

fairyspork:

floptart:

ass2007:

im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:

image

Who the fuck measures dick size in bread

(via simplybex)

clarabunny:

my friend found this on the inside of her juice cap we’d both like an explanation

clarabunny:

my friend found this on the inside of her juice cap we’d both like an explanation

(via thefuuuucomics)

breelandwalker:

feliciakainz:

carryonmywaywardalpaca:

dearborns:

#how many times have I quoted this in my lifetime #far too many and still not enough

Guys, btw, this is an actual insult

if he calls your mother a hamster, it indicates that she is a fast-breeding rodent— you can get the insult there

and if he says your father smelt of elderberries, well, wine was primarily made from elderberries in the time of king arthur. he’s calling his dad a drunk

more you know

(Source: redlight--district, via thefuuuucomics)

egberts:

i told my grandma i have a popular blog and she thinks i write professional reviews of food and movies

(Source: iwillneverlety0ug0, via thefuuuucomics)

shut the fuck up Ash you’re about to die

(Source: pokemoncap, via thefuuuucomics)

shslequius:

iguanamouth:

people whose entire first name is also in their last name have had a rough journey

i once knew a daniel daniels and i think his parents just had a sick sense of humor because his middle name was dan

(via thefuuuucomics)

jellys:

NEVER PLAY THE QUESTION GAME

jellys:

NEVER PLAY THE QUESTION GAME

(via thefuuuucomics)

miketooch:

kangaroonemesis:

Im not sure the new IT guy knows what he is doing…

Nonsense give him a promotion and his own corner office

miketooch:

kangaroonemesis:

Im not sure the new IT guy knows what he is doing…

Nonsense give him a promotion and his own corner office

(via alisonhendrix002)

e-bae:

Told this girl to text me when she got home… I think she homeless

(via thats-so-meme)

fandomstuck:

im at my church and im using the wifi here and i look to see what my connections are and

image

(via thefuuuucomics)

tastefullyoffensive:

[dunnskiis]

reallylameblog:

paradisaic:

wethatkindoforc:

So my cat is sleeping between my legs and then this happened and I laughed so hard he woke up.

that’s a potato

Your cat looks like an uncooked chicken

(via alisonhendrix002)